Don’t Piss Off The Witch BLOG Part 1! Fucking gatekeepers!!!

Don’t Piss Off The Witch BLOG Part 1! Fucking gatekeepers!!!

Part 1 Don’t Piss Off The Witch BLOG Part 1! Fucking gatekeepers!!!

Our famous witchcraft supplies store is a little quiet today… Happens… For some odd reason Beltane week has ALWAYS been slow… And Shitler, the orange moron and dotard, started bombing the middle east in a stupid and vain attempt to get votes for the midterms… Looks like that didn’t go to plan as his approval rating is tanking… But thanks to his stupid bullshit gas prices are up… And folks drive a long way to our specialist traditional witchcraft store for their wicca supplies… And they do so less when gas is high… But thankfully pagans, witches and wiccans are buying their pagan supplies online from our witchcraft supplies store!

So I have some time on my hands… I was thinking about writing another witchcraft blog on how to do magick and ceremonial magick rituals and pagan spellcasting… But then I remembered reading an interesting article the other day about why some people get grumpy as they age. Basically, it seems we get weary of being nice all the time as you get older… The old advice of always being “nice” and practicing kindness gets harder as we get older… and MAN do I feel like that! I am approaching 60 and reaching the “old man yells at kids to get off the grass” phase of my witchcraft and pagan practice…

So although I typically write witchcraft blog articles to help folks… I am starting a new series on THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF about witches and witchcraft and ceremonial magick and paganism… Well – to be clear… I LOVE THOSE THINGS!!! It’s the occasional idiots who practice these things that piss me off sometimes….

So let’s have a good rant about FUCKING GATEKEEPERS!!! Yaaaaasssss!

I get it. All religions and practices have evangelists… People are super excited when they start a new thing… And witchcraft and paganism is sky rocketing with new folks and seekers… They learn things… Sometimes from good sources… and sometimes from appalling sources… And then they feel the need to stick their wand in that hill and be prepared to defend their mountain of bullshit no matter what, or worse insist others join them on their mountain of stupid cringe crap.

I have been actively practicing the occult since I was around 10 years old. I literally drew my first deck of tarot cards using blank computer Punch Cards my father bought home from work for me to draw on… Yes, children, once upon a time computers were huge room sized beast called “mainframes” and did not have solid state hard drives… NO… Data was stored literally on cards with holes punched out to represent 1s and zeros in binary… A hole was “1”…No hole was “0”… And these giant ancient computers had elves called “computer operators” whose job it was to feed boxes of said cards to the computer… That’s how old I am… SO you can imagine how I feel, having gathered 50 years fucking experience, to then be told I am “wrong” about something by some baby witch who has a whole 1 years’ experience and has read at least three whole Llewelyn books!

I was there when the olde magick was written… At the dawn of time before facebook… When people posted on Message Forums… Which is where gatekeeping probably began… I used to have the screen name of “Serpentarius” and used to be a moderator on a couple of those old school pagan and witchcraft message forums…

I remember one time a bunch of clowns decided to form a “witchcraft council” and proposed a bunch of “rules” for practicing witchcraft… All based on “ye olde ancient and total bullshit made up by Gerald Gardner Rule Of Three”…. Those of us who knew full well that Gardner totally invented that crap attacked immediately. As well as pointing out that there are MANY forms of witchcraft and that Gardner’s shit only applies to Wicca… We also asked these idiots interesting questions such as “If someone breaks the rules and throws a curse then #1 How will you know? And #2 What will you be able to do about it, take away their nonexistent witchcraft license presumably? We laughed and trolled that shit so hard.

Even when I moved to Michigan and met Pat, I was shocked to discover that the local pagan scene was still deeply entrenched with folks insisting that the rule of three is totally karma… It took 10 years… But we worked hard, and as our popular witchcraft store online grew and especially our popular facebook page, we made sure to share frequently that the rule of three is unique to wicca, does not apply to all witches, is not karma, and is kinda stupid. And now 10 years later we rarely see that stupid shit posted anymore, you’re welcome!

To be clear… Please do believe in and practice any stupid shit you like. If you want a bunch of made-up rules in your witchcraft practice then go nuts! But please don’t force that shit down everyone else’s throats just like a cringe evangelical jeebus loon.

If you do, then expect a salty reply… Because I will vent rudely.. I will slay me your sacred cow. I am a thelemite and so “Do what thou wilt” is my moral compass and I will gladly mock your bullshit harshly.

And just in case you are a member of the rule-of-three-police then let me remind you….

Doreen Valiente gave a radio interview of which the transcript can be googled – in which she is clear that “old Gerald made up the rule of three”.
In the same interview she said “I could never understand why karma would work differently for witches” … Because she’s right… GO ahead an read ALL the Vedic texts of Hinduism and please show me exactly where it says ANYTHING about karma working by three… Because IT IS NOT THERE!!!!
The famous witchcraft museum in Boscastle in Cornwall AND the famous authors that raid its wonderful archives are very clear that there is NO evidence of the wiccan rede or the rule of three before Gerald Gardner.
The ancient Greeks would cast spells into wells for Hecate.. They would scribe them on lead tablets, folded over and closed with a nail… Some were petitions for blessings… Some were curses… Because lead does not rust away archeologists find plenty of these spells… The curses are MORE frequent than the blessings MUCH MORE… The Witchcraft Museum’s section on cursing is also pretty big and impressive… So, stupid fakelore and made up history about “witches didn’t curse, that was a lie made up by the nasty Christians” is exactly that – bullshit and fakelore.

Also know that we run our facebook page like a mosh pit for witchcraft. Again, folks with “opinions” will say that we are wrong to be mean to people in the comments section because “businesses must always be nice”… But… You see… There is the rub… That’s an “opinion”, and as the pagan roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius, said (paraphrasing) “Everyone has the right to opinion, but the majority of opinions are born of ignorance”… You see… Actual Facebook consultants will tell you that people LIKE drama… It’s good for likes and shares and comments… People do not visit nice boring pages… Which is why a lot of “nice” businesses don’t have many followers… We are a species that slows down to look at traffic accidents… We get the popcorn out… We love drama… We have 90,000 followers BECAUSE our page is a mosh pit… SO yeah, come to the circus… Its modern Rome on our facebook page and we throw gatekeepers to the lions for sport and amusement…

Same with correspondences… Or any ritual practice… PLEASE STOP telling folks, especially of other paths, that they are using the “wrong” color or crystal or herb for their spell… Maybe, in YOUR practice… Which is not THEIR practice…

Although not everyone is an Aleister Crowley fan, I am… And one of the things he said that I sometimes wish I had on a T-shirt is “Let success by thy proof”… You have NO idea how many times down the decades I have been told I am “wrong” in my practice by some moron whose life is an obvious demonstrable dumpster fire…

I was able to retire at 47 from work, a millionaire… I then built a witchcraft store in the middle of nowhere and turned it into one of the best in the usa, with our witchcraft online store on the front page nationally of google. With 600 five star reviews. Just the land we purchased, and the witchcraft store we had built upon it, are valued at $500,000 let alone the 8000 products inside, or the 90,000 followers and top rated witchcraft store online… My wife and I also have a loving relationship most are jealous of… And we have great kids and grandkids… SO I might just know a thing or two about prosperity magick… And success magick,,, And love magick… So, yeah, better not be correcting me unless you make my achievements look small… Because I bite. And I do not suffer fools. You do you.

GATEKEEPERS FUCK OFF!!!!

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